Love on the Rocks

I read an article a few days back outlining some of the reasons men cheat on their wives. I don't know if the reasons were applicable to women who cheat, but I found it interesting nonetheless. The article maintained that some men cheat because they cannot face the fact that their marriage is not working or even over. Rather than confront their wife with the problem, they cheat. This behavior is the acting out of their unconscious desire to be caught. When they are caught this will likely end the marriage and prevent them from having to deal with the real reasons for its failure in any way. I'm sure I'm not explaining this idea as well as I should, but I think we can get the gist of it. I don't know if this is true or a load of crap, but I won't discount the idea. I know the human mind is unfathomable in its complexity and that we've only scratched the surface of its workings. This idea of unconscious marriage sabotage intrigued me as it applies to the various conversations we've had of late on the topic of dropping out. While the topic is likely running its course and nothing substantially new will be added (short of someone actually trying it and blogging about the effort for the benefit of all), I felt like adding a bit more to the pile.

I honestly wasn't trying to arrive at any practical guidelines for "dropping out" in these posts, but that would sure be nice. I was more struggling with what the term means in the broader sense and in the personal sense. My dropping out began when I started losing faith in the, so-called, respected institutions of our world (religion, government, business, education, etc.). That is likely when yours began as well (Ran Prieur didn't experience this). I have not lost faith in them as a concept (perhaps I need more time to get to that point) but I have lost faith in them as they currently function. My reasoning must take me to the next step, which is that these institutions are run by people. If people were trustworthy then these institutions would be trustworthy. I am not a philosopher, so feel free to skewer my reasoning. I am only using the horse sense that anyone's grandma and grandpa would have used. Not all people are untrustworthy. Not all aspects of institutions are untrustworthy. But the overall concept of a trustworthy church, government or corporation is long since dead in my heart and in my mind. Unfortunately, the memes they fed me over my formative years are very hard to shake. Anyone who has ever tried to stop smoking, drinking, taking drugs or eating a certain way understands this. Addictions are addictions and civilization is one hell of an addiction. We are in a state of addiction that portends a certain end or, at least, a horrific detox. This isn't so much about educating the world about peak oil as it is organizing an intervention. Honestly, this is where we are in this portion of our timeline. We are trying to convince someone that they are drinking too much. We are telling someone we love that putting down the Twinkies is the only hope they have. Good luck. Years ago, I had a film idea that, I imagined, would star John Candy. It was about a man whose weight was bringing him to the point of incapacitation. He had tried everything from counseling, to medication, to diets, but nothing worked. He had given up and was living his life in oblivion. His wife, who loved him dearly, decided the only thing left was to show him that he could live a different way, so she arranged to have him kidnapped and kept locked away under medical supervision. It would have been a story about our addictions and how their strong bonds are nothing more than vapor shackles, yet they bind us tighter than steel. I imagined what it would have been like to drop the weight off of John over a period of time and what it would have looked like to the world. It was just a fantasy script, but it rings true of our world today. We are beyond the point of rolling up our sleeves and digging in for a the good fight. We need to be compelled to act in a reasonable way. We need to be locked in a room and forced to comply because it is the only way our lives will be saved. But once you get to that point, it is all over. I don't want to live in that place.

So, why did I mention the article on cheating husbands at the start of this entry? Because I think that most of the world is living in the same mindset as the philanderer. We know things are beyond repair, yet we choose not to confront the situation. In my own life I am trying very hard to confront the situation, yet there is so much to do. I comfort myself with the knowledge that "slow and steady wins the race." I also use other pithy maxims such as "look before you leap" and "measure twice, cut once." But as a planet, we are all mindlessly committing adultery because we can't face the fact that there is likely nothing we can about this world in which we live. We feel powerless and helpless. I don't think we really are powerless and helpless, but it is generally how most feel. So, it is easier to commit adultery with an SUV and a McMansion than it is to sit down across from our lifestyle and say, "We need to talk."

I am a very optimistic person and I can see (in my own mind) how easy it would be to fix many of the large issues facing us. These remedies would cause only modest impacts on our lives. They would certainly be far, far less inconvenient that what awaits us just around the bend. I honestly don't think anyone has the best answer for a collapse or severe upheaval scenario. If you strike out on your own in the country with livestock and weapons, you are still subject to accidents, weather, government and gangs. If you live in a rural commune you are still subject to accidents, weather, government, gangs and each other. If you live in the city you are still subject to accidents, weather, government, gangs, each other, disease, etc. I'm not saying one way is better than another, I'm just saying that all ways have weaknesses. Besides, I think the best solution for the collapse scenario is to avoid it completely by taking action now. It is incredibly frustrating to know that the road to the cure for our world's ills is right in front of us, but we won't take it. We won't sit down and say, "Honey, I think we need professional help." No, we can't fix it all, but we can make things much easier. Ignoring a problem never solves it.

This takes me back to where we started this conversation: To me, dropping out is in your mind. There are certainly practical steps in dropping out, but they all are subservient to the mental aspect. Once the mental work begins, the other solutions will make themselves known. I wish mine was as easy as a tent, a rifle and a backpack full of gear, but it isn't. Even if we found a way to make the current American lifestyle extend for another 100 years, I would want out. The modern lifestyle is intertwined with a philosophy that reeks of lies, greed and exploitation. I feel as if my soul must go on a fast to purge out the bad things that this civilization has used to build up my cells. At the same time, there are marvelous things about this world that I don't want to change or lose. Sometimes we need to be still long enough to take stock of what is important so we don't throw it away rashly in a fit of zealousness. I do know that we can't all buy land. We can't all just start growing our own food and making our own clothes. We can't all just decide to build a cob house. We can't pack three kids and the dog in a car and head for the mountains. Without planning and preparation there will be nothing but disaster. We can start to learn these skills if we feel we want to use them, but they are not something learned or implemented in a day. Sure, maybe you could buy land with some others, but you'd likely fight over who gets to build their house in the sunny spot. Our great weakness is our fear. Call it inspired selfishness, call it sin, call it survival instinct, call it whatever. Unless that aspect of ourselves is conquered we will just bring the worst part of ourselves into the next phase of civilization. I know there are many great people with whom I'd enjoy trying to make a go at a self-sufficient life, but most would be poison to me.

I think those who have foreseen the impending phase of our civilization may be feeling fatigued from the work of sounding the alarm. I also see the danger that the mainstream are beginning to peddle a homogenized version of this message for their own ends. Once that happens there is no telling how the message will be distorted and diluted. Dropping out isn't giving up, but it is giving up on your former, unrealistic view of this world. I'm working out my plan with a heavy heart rather than with excitement. It will be me committing adultery. I will be stepping out on my long-term commitment to faith in humanity and my Polyanna hope for the future. On second thought, I really won't be committing adultery, I'll be asking for a divorce. Maybe I'm not as cowardly as I believe myself to be? Time will tell.

More on this later...

Happy Birthday Jesus

Brother, Can You Spare the Time?

This post is to simply state the obvious: there isn't enough time in this life. I wished to bewail and bemoan the fact that all I want to do and accomplish must be lived out within this reality that is constrained by time. The best definition of time I've ever heard is attributed to Einstein: "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once."

But it isn't my goal to be philosophical here or to rant about dropping out. The holiday season is difficult for me. I am not against the holidays and I will admit to the occasional warm feeling within, but there is more jeer than cheer inside my heart, I must admit. I detest shopping to begin with, but holiday shopping mutates that already odious chore into a casting call for "Survivor" (no, I don't watch it, but the image seemd to make sense in this sentence). My normal routine is time-challenged these days. I'm sure others have it worse, but I've been feeling the pinch lately. Work needed attention before I took some time off for the holidays. My family situation makes visits geographically and emotionally challenging. I really just want to close the door, lay under the covers and hold out until January 2nd. But I don't live in a vacuum and I need to get over myself, so I do my best to pitch in and try to make this a happy time for everyone. I do wonder how much easier this would be if my life were more simple? Maybe it would be worse? If I didn't have a car I wouldn't be able to see my family as easily. Even though Jesus' birth was purportedly in a place many in our circle would approve, the modern celebration is more about large homes filled with people and things and massive expectations. Mary just wanted a place to lay down. How far we've come!

The next few days are the worst. I am lucky that most of my driving is relatively close to the relatively few relatives to whom I must relate. I clocked in about 120 miles today. That is fine. Tomorrow is better because I will be hosting. The day after is not too bad either: just a short drive. The hard part will be making that small-talk I detest for hours among 40 or so family members. I love them all, but I'm just not so good in these situations any more. Again, I'll do what I must. I can schmooze with the best of them, but it takes a lot more energy to do so.

This time of year whips up thoughts of changes that need to be made and methods that should be altered. All this holiday activity eats into the energy and time that I so dearly covet. Then I think of all the things we are told we should do and I cringe. How does anyone do it? I'm fortunate compared to many regarding my work commute and hours and such. Many I know either work multiple jobs or make a two hour commute each way. How can there be any energy left for life and loved ones, let alone leisure? When you add up all the things you must do the list is staggering. Add to that the things you feel you should do and you simply want to quit. No wonder so many dream of dropping out.

There is so much I want to do. There is so much that interests me. There is so much the needs to be done. Time doesn't just prevent everything from happening at once, it prevents us from being the one doing it. We only have so much of the stuff and we must treat it with great care. What do you wish you had time to do? How do you make more time? Are there times when you spend money rather than time?

Why are there so many things we are told we should do each day? Meditate, exercise, talk to our children, get involved in your children's schoolwork, volunteer in your community, cook things from scratch, comparison shop, slow down, learn a language, keep up your property, read more, keep up on current events, study the politics of your local area, learn about the world, improve your job skills, write a letter, keep a journal, pray, learn to use a computer, turn off your computer, make time for yourself, learn to be less selfish...

I'll squeeze that all in after my normal day.

I enjoy my time on the computer because it is quiet and it demands little of me. It lets me talk and think without having to intrude an anyone else if they don't have the time. It informs me and entertains. It helps me unwind and it inspires me. It is ready to go when I am ready to go. It doesn't get offended if I don't want to talk. Some of that sounds selfish when I type it out. It is all true, though. I've learned so much in front of this digital diversion. I hope to learn more. I've especially learned how fleeting and precious time can be.

There is so much I want to say. There is so little time to say what I want to say. Perhaps that is a good thing? Yeah, I think so.

Second Hand Information

If all goes well, this will be a blessedly brief post. My previous post mentioned "Voluntary Simplicity". Only a couple days later this item was posted on MSNBC. I don't read MSNBC, but I think I caught the link on Reddit.


We all live second-hand lives. We learn from others who have learned from others who have learned from others. The food we eat is fertilized by the dead matter of that (and those) which (who) preceded it. In our modern world, second-hand anything is unthinkable. But if we see second-hand knowledge as unappealing, Odin-forbid if you walk into school with second-hand clothes! The second-hand knowledge that we need so desperately has been lost like a pair of MC Hammer parachute pants at the bottom of the bargain bin at the Salvation Army store. We need to know that second-hard information on how to hunt and gather and reap and listen and commune and survive. We need that information that great-grandpa tried to share. Alas, we were too busy reading about the latest pop star to listen. I found the article interesting only because it reinforces what we already know: 1) People want more meaning in their lives and they know it doesn't come from buying things and 2) The world (especially the corporately controlled consumer world) will think you are nuts or worse when you don't comply. Back to my idea that dropping out means non-compliance. Yes, this isn't quite dropping out, but it is counter-culture. Even this relatively benign act by a group of friends was met with hostility. If people react this way towards these folks, how do you think they will treat those who really drop out? I could go on and on about this, but you already know what I'd likely say.

I'm really beginning to think that this world is beyond hope.

I'm A Marked Man

As everyone is keenly aware, especially this time of year, businesses are pulling out all the stops in order to get you to part with your money. There is certainly a ploy, scam or manipulation that has been created for pretty much every potential consumer. But when you are a white, middle-aged, educated(?), professional male, there is a special place in the hearts of companies who like to sell shit. Kids may be a great audience for music and video games, but when it comes to big-ticket items, men are the holy grail. Because of that, I am a desired demographic. That means I have a target painted on me by business. I am targeted in specific ways in the hope that I will desire certain items. I am not a human, I am just a resource.

But in all this talk lately of dropping out, I am another demographic. Those who seek to follow what is popularly known as "Voluntary Simplicity" can be broadly labeled as "white" and "middle class". Men and women are about even in number within this group. Most who are interested in this path are well educated. I use the term "Voluntary Simplicity" only because it is a bit more accepted form of dropout. No, they don't really drop out, but they are sympathetic to the cause. I like to think of them as the sociological equal of marijuana: a gateway movement (yes, I know that a recent study debunks that theory, but I need it for that metaphor) to dropping out. Ted has been doing some writing on race and our culture that dovetails nicely into this idea of dropping out.

There have been some interesting conversations on this topic and I enjoy the give and take. My contention is that dropping out is quite serious and entails non-cooperation with the dominant consumer culture. But I also struggle with the difficulty faced by those who do not want to cooperate with this dominant culture but are unable to get out for various reasons. I will say that anyone who wants out can likely get out but the price is sometimes staggering. We've yet to discuss any concrete methods, but right now I am more concerned with the seeming hopelessness of dropping out.

I don't know why those who yearn for a simpler, freer life generally seem to be white, middle-class, educated "yuppie" types. I am certain that the desire for freedom and simplicity are not the sole domain of this socio-economic group, but the paradox within this little factoid is amusing. I think it is because white, middle-class, educated yuppies are the predominant consumer target in the nation that we even hear of "voluntary simplicity". When a noble idea is reduced down to a marketing term, we know we are in trouble. When the books, magazines, seminars, tapes and vacations that revolve around this idea become mainstream, the beginning of the end is near. I am not saying that books, etc. are bad things, but all these things are products. Products are created to be sold for a profit. When profit is involved a person's objectivity can often be called into question. Again, this is not an indictment of "voluntary simplicity" in any way. I am sure that most involved in the movement are genuine. I also do not fault anyone for trying to make a living. I hope we all know where I am coming from on this. It is analogous to creating a 12 hour mini-series on TV designed to educate Americans on the perils of watching too much TV. It could have a beneficial effect, but I would be suspicious.

Another aspect of this middle-class desire for a more meaningful existence is the fact that we are in a position to actually do something about it. One would think that the poor would lead the way in this lifestyle. But when you are poor, luxuries like movements and philosophies are often difficult to follow. You are generally too busy working several jobs and taking care of a family's needs to be spending your few moments of leisure figuring out how to "cut back". Again, the quotes here may smack of sarcasm, but they are asking a genuine question. There may be a few wealthy people who have sought a better life (John Robbins comes to mind), but I think that by and large the majority of the rich are quite happy with their lot. So if the poor have no opportunity and the rich have no desire, it leaves the middle class to struggle with this angst. Besides, the white middle-class does most the consuming, so who better to lead the way?

I don't know if it is our general white guilt that leads us to these ideas or if it is something else. Maybe it is the fact that we've come from something humbler and then tasted a "better life" but found it lacking? Maybe it is the stories of our ancestors and the romance of a more substantial life? Maybe it is our incessant working to achieve this life and finding that the pile of crap in the eight bedrooms in our homes is as useless as eating Twinkies? I really don't know what drives this behavior, but the fact that I fit into this category bothers me. Am I just doing this out of some sociological urge or am I interested because of a deeper spiritual need?

I am sure that the middle class is no more spiritual than the poor. It can't just be that. Is it that Christianity (at least the mainline branches that don't include the "Prosperity Gospel") seems to honor those who are poor? If so, why would the poor want to change their plight? And, if so, why wouldn't the middle-class want in on the action rather than face the potential difficulty of getting into heaven as one who would attempt to drive a camel through the "eye of a needle"?

I had a friend a few years ago who was brought up in rather beneficial circumstances. Her wealth allowed housekeepers and nannies and good schools. As fate would have it, she found love and religion and was willing to run away from all of her benefits. Her experiences remind me of what it will be like for those of us who are products of the modern world. She had no idea how to complete the simplest of tasks. Cooking, laundry and even cleaning a room were so foreign that the quest often brought her to tears. To anyone brought up to do their own work, it was sort of pathetic. But I saw her conviction. My wife spent time showing her the ropes and her common sense took over. Today, you'd never know it to look at her, but she has fully integrated into the mainstream of middle-class life from a life of ease. Four kids and several moves have toughened her up into an exemplary member of our stereotypical tribe. It gives me hope for the rest of us who need to learn how to milk goats, build fences and hunt game.

I don't know what it is that compels the white middle-class to look back. I do pray, though, that the same smugness that makes vegans and hybrid drivers crack jokes at the expense of meat eaters and SUV drivers will not bleed through to this movement. I hope that those who do actually drop out can look over their shoulders at those left behind and grieve rather than mock. It is easy to think about cutting back when you have enough. When you go from a three car family to a two car family it isn't a sacrifice, it is a start. Yet I won't be so quick to judge that step after seeing that even the well-off can suffer. Imagine what it would be like for you if you never had to lift a finger to do any sort of work around the house. What would it be like for you if you found yourself having to do all the mundane chores of life? Perhaps my sympathy isn't raised too high on that issue, but since I've seen the situation cause real tears, I can at least understand the struggle.

The poor don't have the luxury of cutting back. Maybe dropping out is an option? If I knew how to do it, I'd give advice. Voluntary Simplicity is often looked upon as the first step toward dropping out. I think we should encourage those who want out in any way we can. Even if they cannot actually make it, we shouldn't discourage them from trying. There was a saying used in the church in my circles: "Only the church shoots its own wounded." I hope that saying won't apply to those who foresee troubled times ahead. When you are 30, single and healthy it is easy to drop out. When you are 60, have four kids and are sickly, the potential isn't as great.

Who knows what is up with the white middle-class? I do know that I admire anyone who seeks to make life better for themselves and for their community. I, for one, will not discourage those who seek to slow down, cut back and, ultimately, drop-out. I will do my best to encourage them and support them on the trip. Yes, I will give constructive criticism and even challenge thinking I feel is faulty, but I'll do it in love as best I can. The stakes are so high that we don't have the luxury of alienation or degrading into further factions. I've been quite impressed by the people within this movement. I pray we can continue to learn from one another, share our experiences and support each other during the days ahead. As for me, I'm taking the targets off of myself and off of my brothers and sisters. I've got enough to worry about without adding to the pile.

Les Fourmis-dable

The second entry in the "dropping out" thread.

I do apologize if my writing has been disjointed and rambling (hehe... as if it isn't all rambling), but I feel like I'm trying to get a lot of thoughts out without the time to give them a spiffy framework. I see myself as a cook churing out plates full of food without worrying about arranging it artistically or concerned if the gravy has spilled over into the lima beans.

It is summer and I'm sitting under my favorite maple tree for shade and cool. I know that life is good because I'm eating a sandwich and drinking some iced tea. With each bite I realize how lucky I am to live where I live and at this time in history. Does an ant crawling under my chair stop and think about what he should do with the crumb of organic sourdough bread that he discovered? Does he have a spiritual struggle or a moment of conscience? After all, he didn't work to earn that bread, did he? He is nothing more than Jean Valjean with feelers and a metasoma. He is stealing bread to feed his family (the bastard!). What sort of example does he offer to society? What goes through his mind?

No, the human world isn't the ant world. The ant world isn't the anteater world. Yes, we are all interconnected, but we are also distinct and separate. How should we view the resources of the world if we drop out? Are they anathema or are they fair game? Are we "cheating" if we use the tools of the world? If you go into the woods to live free where no one will bother you, is it cheating if you bring a waterproof tent, sub-zero sleeping bag, survival knife, compass and boots? If you use a computer are you still part of the system and part of the problem? All are honest questions.

Dumpster diving has been raised as an issue on several of your blogs. Is this any different than the ant who stumbles upon a crumb? Well, according to your reports, yes. That dumpster is the property of someone and if they don't want you there, you have no right to be there, right? Aren't you stealing if you take something from that dumpster? Aren't you taking food from the mouth of someone's family by being a parasite instead of contributing to our society? Aren't you? (Hey, you look at me when I'm talking to you!)

Please allow me the following rant. I do not claim it to be anything more than a rant. If I am not accurate in what I say, please straighten me out (I won't be offended). I don't claim to be either an accountant or an attorney, just angry...

Somewhere in the southern part of the United States, someone plants a cotton seed. That seed came from another cotton plant harvested last year. That seed crop was harvested, processed and sold. The sale of the cotton was taxed. The labor of the man harvesting that seed was taxed. The lunch he bought that afternoon was taxed. The man who picked up the seed in his truck (which was taxed upon sale) was paid a wage that was taxed. The cotton seeds were then sold in bulk to a seed distributor (and that transaction was, again, taxed). The distributor paid employees (who had their wages taxed) to sort, package and ship those seeds. Another truck (insert the taxes you feel apply in this space) picks up those seeds and sells them to our farmer mentioned in the first sentence of this paragraph. This time, the farmer harvests the cotton and sells it in bales to another company (and they were charged tax on the transaction). This company sells it to a processing plant (who adds sales tax to the bill). The cotton is made into fabric and sold to a garment manufacturer (this transaction, oddly enough, is taxed). The garment manufacturer then creates a shirt from the material and sells it to a distributor (who pays a tax on the purchase, pays their employees who are taxed, etc.). The distributor packages and ships the shirt to your local store (involving a transaction that is most likely taxed on many levels). You then go into the store and grab that shirt since it goes perfectly with those jeans you just bought (which are made of cotton and have a story of their own). Are they taxed? Maybe. It depends on your local tax laws. But they could be. You wear that shirt a few times and like it, but you find it is a bit too tight (it must have shrunk, you couldn't have gained weight, right?). You "donate" the shirt to Goodwill, who will give you a receipt that can be used as a deduction when you itemize your taxes. Someone goes into Goodwill and buys the shirt. They love it. They pay a small price (and a small amount of tax) and go home. As time goes on, that shirt is worn and washed several times (in a washing machine that was taxed and with detergent that was taxed). It is still in good shape, but isn't so new anymore. Since it is spring, you start cleaning out your closets to make room for new, seasonal clothing. You look at the shirt and put it into the "donate" box. You drop it off at the Salvation Army, who gives you a receipt that can be used as a deduction for your taxes. The shirt sits on a rack for weeks and is marked down several times. Finally, the handwriting is on the wall; the shirt is discarded into the dumpster behind the store (by the labor of a hard-working, over-taxed employee). It is sad, but it is only taking up space from other items that might sell. That night, I go dumpster diving. Wow, look at all this stuff! A Rubik's Cube with a couple of the red stickers gone from the segments, a cassette tape of "America's Most Beloved Hymns", a Fischer-Price push toy that pops colored balls around a clear globe and... whoa... a shirt. Hey, it's my size! Sweet, I'll just grab that and be on my..."Freeze! Police! Put your hands up!" I go to jail (funded by taxpayers) and I am charged with burglary since I "broke into" private property to steal. That shirt was not mine and by stealing it I was harming the organization. The path from a seed to my greed is, indeed, storied. Can someone tell me how I am stealing?

My point in the above story isn't to say that I hate taxes or that stealing is permissible (I'll go off on taxes in another post). Rather, it is to show that when people dumpster dive they are only taking what others have discarded, so there is really no theft involved. These items have been sold and taxed repeatedly and have generated income on many, many levels before reaching that state. Yes, I took massive liberties with reasoning. No, stealing is not a value I cherish, but it is a few rungs above starvation and frostbite. In my previous post, I didn't want to imply that one should seek a life that allowed them to simply not pay taxes. Taxes in some form are often necessary and I gladly pay them. But we cannot ignore the fact that taxes fund the very institutions that enslave us. We all would smile if we knew our tax dollars went to feed and educate children or fund research into cancer treatment. But most of that money is used to buy weapons, train people to use those weapons and to fund ways and means to control us. I am not against defending our nation and its citizens from harm, but someone needs to tell me how we are currently doing that. I think we are causing more harm than we are preventing. You are certainly welcome to your opinion and I honor your right to hold it, but before you phrase it in a negative way towards me, please keep in mind I am a veteran and even have medal or two on my old uniform. These are not the rantings of someone with no experience in the real world. Alas, they are fueled by too much experience in the real world.

But, this isn't about dumpster diving, per se. It is about the rules of dropping out. Can you drop out and dumpster dive? You bet your ass. The ant won't pass up the crumb because it isn't theirs or they didn't create it. It is there and they need it. Yes, there are rules for living in civilized society, but I think some rules end where your hand reaches for the dumpster door. Part of the domination we are unders rests in "their" ability to locate, possess, allocate, control, create demand for, restrict access to, and qualify the rights to resources. Yes, nature has similar examples of such behavior, but it is no where near the detestibility that we've invented. When we even control access to that which no one wants, we've become reprehensible. In some work that my wife and I have done with the homeless, we've found that, generally, all fast food chains will throw perfectly good food out rather than give it to those who are hungry. When asked why they will not donate the food to those in need, the obviously frustrated managers of the restaurants obediently mouth the party line: "We are legally unable to allow that." In the end, we'll all be foragers anyway. Best to get with the program now, eh? That goes for walking into your local sporting goods store and purchasing all that high-tech camping gear. Fair game. It isn't about selling-out, it is about dropping out. It is about having the courage to live in a reality of your own creation while doing no harm. All the materials were stolen from the earth anyway. It is sometimes a narrow and difficult path, yet we must walk it out ourselves.

No one is sucking at the teat of the system. The system is sucking at the teat of the earth. The system is sucking at the teat of all those exploited to produce goods and services that are not essential to our survival and serve only to sate the greed of the powerful. When you take and take and take selfishly without giving back that is called parasitism. It is also the best description of modern civilization that I know. The system is sucking at the dry teat of an overworked mother and then selling the processed milk back to her so she can give it to her children.

Eventually, that shirt I "stole" from the dumpster was hauled away to a taxpayer-created landfill (the person who hauled it charged a fee which was taxed) and was buried. It eventually became compost and nurished a flower. I can see an ant crawling up its stem, looking for a meal. I wonder if he thinks about dropping out when he has lunch?

Tune In, Turn On...

This theme is rolling around our little circle as well as in my head. I really don't know how to answer the question. I don't even know how to pose the question.

What makes someone a "dropout'? What is a better term for "dropout"? What are we (am I) trying to achieve anyway?


I think casemeau started this and it was continued at Patriot Earth and then it was spotted at Village Blog. I'm sure others have discussed this issue for quite a while, but I am only noting what prompted me to write about it at this time.

This is a tough subject because it reveals our weakness and compels us to put up or shut-up.
-Casemeau is living in a van and trying to work out his next steps. He took the first step.
-Ian is soon to leave us and head to Ecuador. He has taken the first step. And, I loved the photo he posted a while back that inspired me to post the image for this entry.
-Ran has taken the first step and then some.
-Deanna has learned so much about living in the wilderness and living off the land.
-Jack has his van and is shaping his vision.
-Kevin and Rebecca have taken a giant leap and are sharing their journey with us all.
-Ted has wrestled with his demons over his next step and has kindly shared those moments with us all.
-Jason and Giuli have researched and reported and reflected on how we got here, where we are likely to go, why we do what we do and what is likely in store.
-Juris: Doctor of Doom bangs the warning drum hard so others will hear.
-Comrade Simba unashamedly reveals his strengths and his weaknesses and his humanity on this path.
-Nigel seems to be at about the same place on this path as I, only on the other coast.
-He who is nameless at Survival Acres is providing resources and information for those on the path.
There is also Aaron and Devin and Marcy and all the others I've left out only due to my ignorance.

It shocks me how many of you I feel I know in some strange way due only to these entries. We all have friends, families, lives, dreams, difficulties and demands, yet we all make the time to share pieces of ourselves with one another. Thank you. I really, really appreciate it. I know that our little conversations give me hope and encouragement, even when they are contentious.

I have been a typical American boy my whole life. I was born in a city, raised in the country and live in the country now (by choice). I did well in school, was well-liked by my peers and believed what those in authority told me. I started to think outside the box while in college, but was urged by my patriotism to serve my country when I felt she needed me. Later, I found that my country wasn't always being straight with me. I found that all those others in authority were not being straight with me either. I lost faith, yet found it again. I work in a capacity that allows me to serve my community, do what I love to do and still have time for a life. In the midst of this, my family and I have been rethinking what "life" is. Typical story and I only tell that bit to let you know where I am coming from.

I aspire to drop out. My presence in this community of ours is primarily because I wanted to get out of this thing we call civilization. One site led me to another which led me to Ran's site which led me to yours. So Peak Oil and collapse and anti-civilization and conspiracy is all well and good, but I am here because I don't want to be here. I want to be somewhere else. At the time I started looking around, I had no idea what I wanted (I still don't) in a practical sense or what "dropping out" meant, but I know I wanted to do it. As time has passed, I've learned much from all of you and had my ideas shaped in different ways. Your fingerprints are all over this little lump of clay. I really don't feel the need to define it or feel approved in order to know that I am actually doing it (rather than pretending to do it). It doesn't matter to me if you feel I am a poseur or the real deal. But I do think it is important that we at least talk about it, so I'm glad the subject has been moving around. I am, for whatever reason, somehow invested in your successes and your failures.

I'm sure my take on this is not yours. That doesn't make me right or wrong, just different. I am comfortable and relatively happy in all this civilization. Yet, I have been granted the gift of seeing it differently, just as most of you have. I've been able to see things as they are rather than as I'm told they are. My experiences and yours have shown me that there can be another way. I want to take the red pill. But it is hard to take the red pill unless someone like Morpheus is there to explain it to you and tell you that, yeah, it will be tough, but we'll make it.

I have no desire to codify, categorize, define, describe, encapsulate or explain what "dropping out" might be. It doesn't matter. They are only words. Words are not the thing, they are only a written or vocal symbol of the thing. They are a tool to allow us to make our thoughts known to others. You all know what "drop out" means to our circle.

Sure, perhaps there is a better term or phrase that could be used to describe this little cult to those who are not members. We could use less negative words or words without the baggage. In the end, we each know what we mean. And even if we don't all mean the same thing, I think we understand one another.

All I want to do is make sure that we all know one thing: dropping out is serious shit.

As Devin said, "Dropping out is NOT a fucking club. Dropping out has no fucking criteria." This reminds me of what Tyler Durden said, " Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat! It's not a seminar!"

My point is only to make clear that "dropping out" or whatever term we use to describe it is so much more than just dropping out. Sometimes we become so enmeshed in the mechanics of the immediate task we lose sight of the bigger picture: Dropping out is treason.

I like to call it "non-compliance". Again, it is just a word. Different heroes have shown their displeasure with the world by various forms of protest. Gandhi and Martin Luther King were not violent, but they were "in your face". They needed to show their displeasure by public protest. Those who drop out are an even heartier lot. We can simply vanish from the pubic eye and still make a great impact on the world. There is no need for publicity, attention or notoriety. In fact, that could work against us. In the end, it is most effective to simply disappear.

“I choose not to comply.”

Dropping out is the single most radical and dangerous thing we can do. It says that the American dream is really a nightmare. It says that Miss America is a whore. It says that the job, mortgage, 2.3 children, dog, station wagon and two-week vacation is tweaked Kool-aid we are forced to drink. It is saying that the Emperor has no clothes. It says that everyone is wrong. We can't have that now, can we?

It isn’t a full frontal assault on the “the man” or the “the system”. Doing that would make us terrorists or rebels or malcontents. That would let them imprison or shoot us.

It isn’t sitting in a peaceful circle holding hands and singing songs. Sure, that is nice and may even have some effect, but in the end we pick up our guitars, start up our cars, drive home to our HDTVs and lawns and go to work the next day.

Opting out is so hard because it is the one thing the “man” has made certain we cannot do! That must mean it is the most dangerous thing we can do and the most damaging to "him." You can protest all you want and it is fine. You can even go too far and cause trouble. Fine, we'll just send you to jail. We can deal with that. Even when you are in prison you are still part of the system. Your name is on a list. You have people who earn their living by watching you. Your name is still spoken. You have a role. But you can't just disappear. It isn't allowed. You can't live in the woods. Those woods are owned by the "man". They will force you to come back or put you in prison (back into the system). You need to contribute in some way. You can work and pay taxes, or you can be detained and have taxes spent on you so your presence justifies the system. You can't have it any other way. You are not allowed to live under any other reality.

-When you drop out, you don't pay taxes. No taxes means you're not funding the system that controls us.
-When you drop out, we don't know where to forward your mail, ask you questions, see what you are doing or use you in any way.
-When you drop out, you don't work so you can make money to buy things. No consumption doesn't help the corporations or the government that run this system.
-When you drop out, you are saying that the system doesn't matter. The system hates that most of all.

It reminds me of the most painful thing you can do to someone after a breakup: forget them. Some folks weep and grieve and suffer after a break-up. Some become bitter, resentful and angry. You talk about your past love behind their back. It may seem like a negative, but it is your way of keeping them in your life. But when you really break it off, you don't care who they are seeing or sleeping with or what they are saying about you. It doesn't matter. It is over. It has no meaning. It is irrelevant. This is what dropping out should be like.

Dropping out is, in essence, ignoring this world and fashioning your own. That is too dangerous to be allowed by civilization. Even if you rebel in the traditional sense, you will often get assistance by being offered "rehabilitation". Or, sometimes you will find those who sympathize with you and offer you support in some fashion. When you drop-out, you are on your own (or at least in the company of a small band who look out for one another). Sure, there may be others who know about you, but that doesn't matter. You are doing this because YOU must, not to please or impress or research a book. If others agree and are along for the ride, that is fine. But if they go off the path, you stay on the path.

Dropping out takes time. It may not happen all at once. It may unfold in stages. It may reveal itself in strange ways. Regardless, it is too radical to be allowed.

Again, this is my definition, so if you don't agree I won't argue. You are as correct as I. But dropping out, to me, isn't scaling back or tightening your belt or doing more with less. Dropping out is dropping out. It is the single greatest thing we can do. It is the single most difficult thing we can do. It is a weapon greater than all the bullets the man has. Unfortunately, it scares me even more than all the man's bullets.

To all those who are currently on the path, I am praying for you and looking for your footsteps to guide me. Good luck.

(T)errorism

I may be out of line with this quick rant, so please, gentle reader, do the right thing and let me know if I'm full of it...

Am I the only one who is confused regarding the case of Demetrius Van Crocker? I mean, given the issue, I would have imagined that every news agency would have been running constant stories about this guy. Granted, I don't watch mainstream media, but there is no way you'd miss this if it were given the airtime it deserved. This guy wanted to blow up Congress with C4 and fly a helicopter full of Sarin over African-American neighborhoods (we'll not go into the concentration camps he wants to set up for Jews).

Imagine you are with the office of Homeland Security. Imagine how you feel since you've been getting a lot of bad press and the public is starting to feel a bit oppressed? If you have a big victory to crow about, wouldn't you make sure the world knew?

Imagine you are the President. Imagine how you feel since your numbers are down, your party blames you for their staggering election losses, you have turned your nation into an Orwellian nightmare and no one really likes you. Do you think you'd try to win back some points and credibility by making it front page news that a potential terrorist was captured in a sting attempting to acquire Sarin and explosives? Would you like to try and justify the Draconian measures you've taken in some small way?

I guess the only thing stopping the above scenarios from happening is that Demetrius Crocker isn't brown or Muslim. Alas, he is white, right-wing and a racist. Mr. Crocker was convicted in April 2006 and just sentenced to 30 years last week. In the few things I've read, I didn't see the word "terrorist" anywhere. Of course, the fact that illegal wiretaps, waterboarding or "dissapearing" didn't have anything to do with the capture of this guy doesn't help either. This was done the old fashioned way: a stool pigeon.

How is it that I didn't know about this? I think of myself as reasonably informed, but this came out of left field. I hate displaying my ignorance this way, but my outrage is overriding my ego. I don't think I am the only one who didn't hear about this. Why wasn't this guy dragged around the Capital building behind a Texas pickup truck, horns blaring, lights flashing and flags waving? If this guy's name was Muhammad or Hakeem, Fox News, CNN and the rest would be heralding the victory of the administration's Homeland Security department and current hard line on this so-called war on terror. I guess attempting to destroy the legislative body of a nation isn't considered terrorism (but carrying nail clippers onto an aircraft is). Of course when all those safeguards we've put into place for our own safety didn't really produce, you are likely a bit hesitant to toot your own horn.

We have folks rotting away in Gitmo for nothing. I guess if your particular brand of carnage is right-wing and you are white, then you are not a terrorist. It sucks when you are brown or foreign or an environmentalist.

"I cannot pretend to feel impartial about colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns."
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Vs.

Slow Crash vs. Fast Crash
Roe vs. Wade
Coke vs. Pepsi
Britney Spears vs. Jessica Simpson
Godzilla vs. Mothra
Tide vs. The Other Leading Detergent
Oreo vs. Hydrox
Playstation3 vs. Xbox360
Apple vs. Microsoft
Pre-tribulation vs. Post-tribulation
Hulk Hogan vs. The Iron Sheik

Sure, we could all go on for hours with that and it would be fun...

I'm not sure what prompted this, but I figured I would just purge and be done with it. It may have started last night when I caught the end of the UCLA vs. USC game. UCLA was ecstatic in their victory. It was a stunning upset that changed the complexion of the college football season (yawn). What caught my eye was the sea of powder blue waving banners, shirts and flags. You knew who was victorious. One the other side, the red and gold were idle and sullen. You knew who lost. All the UCLA students were proud of their team. All the USC students were dazed and wondering what to do.

This morning I was reading through the news and items of interest when I noted a story on sales of the Nintendo Wii. The story simply stated that the Wii was selling many more units per day than the Xbox360 or the Playstation3. I have no idea what those statistics mean or how they were arrived at, but it was tech news and I do tech for a living. Below the story the comments and rants took off. Sides were chosen and the onslaught began. The more I read, the more I just wanted to scream.

I am someone who believes (whatever that means) in Peak Oil. I believe that we are facing an impending crisis on this planet that could be (note the qualifier "could") catastrophic. But, I also believe that I don't have all the data. As I've stated in my various ramblings here and on your pages, we don't know all the facts. And even if we did have all the facts, there are so many that we can't sift through them intelligently anymore. So, that gives me some wiggle room.

What I've stated in my previous paragraph is that I'm not a fanboy. For a while my wife had a Mac and I had a PC (actually, I have two, one runs XP the other Linux). I had a Sony PSP and a Nintendo DS. I watch NASCAR and English Football. I have a power mower and a push mower (two push mowers actually, one for me and one for my wife). I have a garden and I go to the grocery store.

What has bubbled up within me is this seeming fixation with being on a team or a side. People square off on the war (which is good) and become rabid and sanctimonious (which is bad). In this little blog universe some believe in Peak Oil and some don't. A few see a bleak future while others see one with more optimism. Some want to go primitive while others want even more tech. I still believe that America is a place where we can all believe and live as we choose as long as we respect one another and do our best to avoid harm. But I keep feeling like there is this mindset that says there is only one way to believe on each issue. There is only one valid side of the story. "We rule!" "We're #1!" "U-S-A! U-S-A!" "If it ain't country, it ain't music!" This thinking tells me that if I support the Palestinians (which I do) I hate the Israelis (which I don't). I'm told that I am either with the government (which I am not) or I'm with the terrorists (which I am not). I am told that two political parties are enough (not for me). I am told that elections should be either/or (which I don't believe). What the hell is wrong with us?

This all smacks of some sort of tribalism or cult. Maybe that is unfair, but I don't know a better way to phrase it. The feeling is that if you own the Playstation3, you can't enjoy the Xbox360. If you believe in a simpler life you are a Luddite. If you believe in Peak Oil you are a gloom and doomer. If you believe in Global Warming you are a rabid environmentalist. You have to belong to some tribe or team or cult or group or side or ideology or philosophy or class or neighborhood or nation or sect and then ride with it no matter where it takes you. You must stand up for it, protect it, defend it, fight for it and even die for it. You must not allow anyone to besmirch or sully the reputation of your little circle and take steps to silence or punish those who do. You've got to wear a t-shirt or have a bumper sticker or button that ensures everyone knows your cause. Opposing arguments are obviously a waste and shouldn't be allowed to be made. When making your points, be certain to inject as many emotional arguments and ad hominem attacks as you can.

I have no idea what tribal cultures of the past were like. I don't know if they welcomed outsiders or rejected anything that was new. I don't know if it was common to simply hate and fear everyone else outside of your group or to embrace that which was new. Likely it was some of both. I do know that the mess we are in today is larger than one ideology or agenda. It will take everyone cooperating and seeing the issues as larger than themselves. There is no more time or room for self-interests and living out our need to be right or on the right side.

My problem in this is that I don't have a lot of faith in humanity. When I sit down with one person and talk about the issues of the world, I generally have no problems with them. Sure, we may not agree on everything, but I try to disagree with respect. When the group dynamic kicks in, a club becomes a gang, a community becomes a cult and an organization becomes an army.

I can see a bright future where everyone rallies together for the common good, puts aside their selfishness and contributes to the well-being of our world. Alas, I also see a world where xenophobia, selfishness, arrogance and close-mindedness lead to the end of a planet.

Evidently my mind is so open that my brains fall out and gather dust bunnies.